Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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