so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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