Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

goodnight i made you a song goodbye

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(954): View more from Florida

I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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(510): View more from California

my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone

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(203): View more from Connecticut

im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning

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(361): View more from Texas

She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"

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