census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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