yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
