I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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