I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
