cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
