I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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