Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
