Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
