Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
