there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize