just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
