He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
