If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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