your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
