im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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