So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
