We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
