You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
