He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
