I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
