i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
