There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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