Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
