there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
