This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
