Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
