No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
