So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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