dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
