i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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