He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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