this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
