i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
