and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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