I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
