i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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