She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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