how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
