PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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