just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
