I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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