He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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