JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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