yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
even my farts smell like vagina
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
