what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
