Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
