Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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