You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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