i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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