i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
