you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
