I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
