the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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